Can’t answer question directly. Just, when I was your age, there was so much I needed to learn. Every person takes time to figure things out, overcome shortcomings, work thru stuff.

At 21, lot to figure out, discover, learn. For me, cuz childhood abuse, trauma, autism, I was a mess. No idea how to have healthy relationships, positive communication, etc.

So, could be your dude is just young, figuring stuff out. Or could be something else. Only way to know is to ask, talk about it. No assumptions, no judgment. Communication is key.

Might be useful to research how to communicate effectively. How to talk about stuff in not about criticize, instead seeing other person’s viewpoint, meeting half way. Problem is, other person may not want to or be able to.

You’re doing good, asking questions. Keep doing that, and good luck.

I don’t do well in traditional semester college cuz adhd.

So, never went to college. Started in fast food, last job was 75k/ year tech job.

I took a lot of short term accredited programs. ROP certifications. LearnIT. Studied on my own to test MVP certifications for excel, PowerPoint, word. You can study on your own to take A+ certification exam. I took community college non credit classes about various applied arts.

So, I’d show up at job interviews with no traditional college degree, but a ton of certifications, short term classes, etc. They were fascinated by my diverse tech skills, it showed I had ambition. So I got a lot of jobs easily this way.

Also, try being a career temp for a while. If you prove you’ll show up for the gigs professionally, they’ll send you to more assignments . I did this for a decade, got phenomenal skillset, different industries , lot of diverse experience.

Borderline schizoaffective, psychotic features. Constantly questioning sanity. Reality often surreal. Dbt, cbt has helped the most. If I practice mindfulness, grounding exercises daily… when mind spirals, reality starts to explode, easier to come back, keeps me tethered.

Tho, once as kid, when I became convinced I might be a disembodied brain floating in a jar, started to seriously freak out. Came home in terrorized panic, flipping madly thru my bookshelf, and reading “summa theologica” finally made the panic stop.

Sometimes, when I’ve researched something and compiled a ton of useful information about a topic… wish there was a lemmy for that. Kind of the opposite of asklemmy.

I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.

I used to identify as Libertarianian. Resented taxes, overreaching, infiltrating my life, all about independence, don’t want to be interfered with.

Then I became homeless. Realized how the social services, ssi, Medicare are important. Sure there are lazy people, but also those who genuinely need help, who want to get back on their feet. Care a lot more now about wanting to live in a society that actually cares about the people in it.

I’ve learned it’s a necessity. If the art itself is good, well done, promotes positive thinking, etc, it’s easy to look past the personal failings of the creator. Like joss whedon. Or the Harry Potter author. Nobody’s perfect, and if I get super puritan about stuff, I miss out on a lot of good content.

If the art itself is shitty, offensive, hateful, harmful… nope, I’m not gonna look past that.

Roman Polanski is tricky. Dude was a horrible human. I don’t want to like his movies, but The Tenant is just so darned good.

Willem de kooning. Early 20s, figure drawing instructor said my live sketches reminded him of de kooning. I’d never heard of him. Few years later, in San Francisco moma, stood in front of one of his Woman paintings, entranced. Thus my love of abstract expressionism began.

I spent the last 8 years living in homeless shelters. I’d say at least 95% of my fellow residents were fleeing domestic violence, drug addicts, people out of jail, elderly, pedophiles, sex offenders, wide variety of mental health issues, some physical disabilities.

Mental health was the majority, so much so that shelters work in concert with mental health programs. Some short term crisis stabilization places for homeless people leaving psych hospitals.

Remember one guy in above category refusing to stay in a shelter, said it was more crowded, less freedom. Some people so beaten by bad experiences, trauma, unable to hold jobs their entire life, who’d give up, living on the streets was only stability they could muster.

It is freeing, in a way. But not as romantic, idealized as some might think.

Yes. Had religion shoved down my throat as a kid. Learned early on being a religious believer meant nothing, people are shitty no matter what.

Had to decide who I wanted to be, what rules to live by. Realized I don’t enjoy hurting people, try to learn from mistakes, random acts of kindness, to always try for the evolved, educated non violent option. That’s enough for me. If there’s a god who has a problem with that, oh well.

I’ve wanted to create a game that’s a simulation of mental health issues. For instance, youre playing someone who has autism. You turn to walk down a street. Turn to look, touch, car crash horns, screaming. Touch a wall, textures explode, patterns etching into your outstretched arm. Or, one about ptsd. Another about auditory processing disorder.

My IRL reality can be so hypervivid, intense, super saturated, surreal. Often wish someone else could experience it, know what it’s like.

The Wrinkle in Time movie, think Oprah was in it. Haven’t seen it, heard it’s horrendous.

Lack of commitment, follow through, cowardice preventing me from doing what I really want to do.

Which means, I don’t have that out. I can curl inward, f*ck everything, I’m done, and everything gets worse and worse. Not sustainable.

If I’m stuck here, no way out, I suppose only way left is to try to figure out how to get out of this dark space. It doesn’t have to be fixed all at once. Just do one small good thing for yourself. Give yourself time to heal, recover. Take it slow. The only way things can change is by actions. Take a shower. Go to goodwill, spend $ on clothes that isn’t sweatpants and tattered t-shirts. …

If I keep at this, one small step at a time, I’m laying in a solid foundation, preparing for that point in future where I’ll be able to go back to that goodwill, ask if they’re hiring. Sure, not the cushy $75k job you had b4 becoming homeless. It’s better than staying on SSI, trapped below poverty level in overcrowded slums.

Only way to move forward is to keep trying.

Now, if you ever hit me, and I find out about it…

That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.

Wish you weren’t so f’n awkward, bud. (Allegedly)

Jesus, Katy, put some clothes on.

Shoplifting. Lifting hubcaps. Forging checks.

Did a lot as a kid.

Once, no money for food. So posted to craigslist something about a broke dykes dinner. Bunch of fellow gay women showed up, each contributed one item. Memorable night. There was some whipping with green onions in the kitchen. One of the women told me (we were all out of jobs, struggling) that a straight guy would pay her $50 to throw tomatoes at him while he jerked himself off.

Lot of what you said is true. Good advice many people should follow.

Just, paradoxical reactions are a bit more complex, took me decades to figure out. Nyquil has me curled in a ball, twitching, spasming uncontrollably. Nodoze sent me into a violent rage, up all night. Lot of meds, make most sleepy, but me, rush of energy, awake all night. Antipsychotics meant to calm me, instead out of control anger. Benadryl means eyes wide, pulse racing.

It had nothing to do with dosage, plasma levels, titration. There are just some people bizarrely hypersensitive to meds, who have the bizarre 1% side effects the other 99% doesn’t get.

But for that 99%, everything you said is true, again good advice and info.

Meds affect people differently. I tend to have paradoxical reactions to meds. Have learned to trust my instincts. I mention cuz it’s good you’re asking questions, educating yourself. Just keep in mind, figuring out what works for you may not match up with other people’s experiences.