Really? Of course they did. Well thank you, I was changing as many of my apps as possible to better apps, was looking at new launchers, switched to revenge for discord but imma start looking into matrix, and some other things.

Regardless, thanks for the help!

Left: phone

Right:keys and headphone case

Back left:wallet

Back right: Pocket knife if I need it, but usually just empty as I keep that in my car

All the time for the past few months, I went through a break up because of my own stupidity, but recently she wants to talk again, but lightly, and with the fact that nothing romantic is possible. I tried talking to more people and even one I caught a few feelings for but I realized I didn’t actually like them and it just made me realize how great she was again. I just constantly feel guilty cause I want to try again but I know I don’t deserve another chance, and other parts of my life with me trying to find a new place to live, a new job, dealing with college classes that I didn’t really wanna do. I just feel like a constant failure when I had so much opportunity. Got depression meds, and they worked for a while, but they are working less and less now.

Considering walking across the highway till the breeze stops

I don’t even really remember I think, I don’t even really feel like I’ve “dealt” with it. I’ll tell some of my experience but I won’t go into too much detail.

For us, we were even talking about marriage, but I did something wrong and I felt helpless after the break up, I couldn’t do anything, other problems arouse and I even started planning suicide.

I tried talking to other people, some related to the situation and some not, to get perspective on stuff, I even got a new job, but depression hit me hard once I started, so I quit soon after to get that under control which was fine, my financial situation was good enough to do this at the time.

Eventually I just started thinking about what I wanted in a relationship and somehow I stopped blaming myself, but now I have a anger I don’t know how to deal with towards her and her family, we see each other once a week during our martial arts class, and it keeps it kinda fresh on my mind but I love the class so I decided it’s worth it.

I’m talking to someone else, not really as a potential romantic partner but someone who I can be good friends with and if it goes that way then it’s a plus. I didn’t have the biggest friend group before and it got even smaller after the break up, so I’m trying to branch out.

I guess that’s how I dealt with it, focused on a hobby, and making new friends, making sure I got to talk it out with various people to make sure I didn’t get into an echo chamber (which my brain and family would be a major one)

I was considering it before we dated, but with my financial problems and job troubles this break up brought it to my mind again

About two weeks now, she broke it off cause I fucked up, I know I did.

a few months ago we had sex, it had been building and it was nice, but about a week or two after she said she didn’t want anymore till marriage for religious reasons, which I understood as we both come from Christian backgrounds.

The problem came from my sexual frustration affecting my actions, I tried respecting her boundary but as we would cuddle a lot, I would get aroused and then frustrated with myself.

Two weeks prior to our breakup, I asked if she would let me relieve myself as I tried this the last time we hung out and was much more relaxed, but I didn’t want to force her out of the room to do so

So I asked if she wanted to stay, she first said yes, which I knew was a lie, and I asked her again at which she said no and left the room

She came back a few minutes later and asked to go home, which I took her home feeling awful cause I knew I made her uncomfortable.

Other frustrations with family and financial that I didn’t deal with caused me to act irrationally (generally just irritated) the subsequent weeks, she then broke it off and it took me awhile to realize all of what I had done, I knew I messed up that day, but that wasn’t the only thing.

I should’ve changed my mindset and made her boundary my boundary, and reached out and talked about what was frustrating me instead of dancing around it, I feel awful and want to try and fix it, I miss her family deeply and all I want to do is have dinner with them, sit on the couch and watch a stupid movie.

I’m trying to do other things that make me happy but I’m finding it tough, tried working out but I lose energy quickly, games are feeling dull, my friends that I can still hangout with aren’t available right now and won’t be for months. I’m having trouble finding a job, and I’m considering joining the military, but I’m just tired, so so tired.

People say that it gets better with time, but I just feel like it’s getting worse. Maybe it gets worse before it gets better but idk. She was my first relationship, but we’ve known each other for a long time, and I’ve known her family for just as long, and it feels like a lot of things I love are just gone now.

A LONG ASS FUCKIN TIME AGO

Dreams-Fleetwood Mac, if I throw on a playlist with shuffle and I get this first, I know it’s gonna be a good day

I’m in a closet with way too many clothes and also no longer on the toilet

Okay, I checked again, according to their description, after the free trial, you keep the free version, you just have to sign up for the premium trial and cancel, I just made a new account, I’ll get back to you in 7 days

Malware bytes, great and the only feature that’s locked behind premium is automated scanning( at least what I care about)

EDIT: just checked, it seems they are premium only now? I haven’t used it in awhile as I haven’t needed to, but on mobile at least you have to go premium, sucks I’ll see if I can find something else

We play it by ear most times, we currently live with our parents still, I’m in college and she’s a preschool teacher with the rest of her family (bit of explaining needed but eh, not bothering right now), so half our days are already taken, we have a day we almost guaranteed to see each other which is when we go to taekwondoe.

When we go to the others house, we kinda both have discomforts with our homes, so we try to balance out the times we spend there, and if we aren’t feeling either place, my truck is where we go to chill out. Basically, I’m saying that if we find time, we hang out in whatever way we feel comfortable.

There are times she needs a break from all social interaction, and I’m willing to give her space and usually hang with her fam, which im good friends with anyway.

We have talked a good bit about this, and if we have problems, we try to find some kind of compromising, or at least an understanding. mindset is something I find dictates a lot of my mood. If I’m not in a state of understanding, I feel pissed. If I know how she feels, I find myself much more at ease, even if I don’t like the situation.

Tldr, if we ain’t feeling it and tell the other, we fine with giving space, and usually just preoccupy ourselves.

Man, not even devices come with a good out of box experience anymore, my phone and PC I have to add so many extensions that slow them down just to prevent ads and other crap they come with, half that nice expensive chip and ram is used up before I get use anything