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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • 3 is the way.

    Have your goals. Feel your feelings. But don’t expect to jump to the other side of the ocean. Set small goals and revel in your daily/weekly wins.

    For example, I wanted to eat better and save money, when I was young and had no money. It was harder then, but I tallied up all the fast food money I was spending, and realized if I didnt buy fastfood I could afford more and better groceries including more fresh vegetables and meats. And STILL saved some money.

    So I watched my grocery bill and stopped eating fast food, ended up with some extra cash each month, and even lost a few pounds.

    This is a small thing, but I felt more in control of my life, and it made me happy.

    Modern banking apps have search features to make tallying your spending easy



  • Very online folks word lawyering to the n-th degree. Language shifts and has different meanings in different countries.

    To play along, I’ve heard “expat” to refer to someone on a work appointment with a fixed timeline, say, someone who works for Microsoft being sent to France for 2 years. I’ve heard many Americans say “I’m immigrating to” to mean they are going through permeant resident or citizen pathways with the host country.

    Others have a different read of the word, but as long as you aren’t a jerk wherever you are going, it won’t ever come up











  • Meh people are gonna come down on you in this thread for not being some perfect picture of a parent/person, but you are considering things, trying to find the best path to be respectful and decent. It’s ok to acknowledge your wishes in a “private” conversation where you weigh the consequences of things.

    Imo this is your son’s relationship with the friend. Let that run it’s course, and just read the signals along the way.