I saw your post the other day and didn’t have anything constructive to add (my instinct was to say ‘just see where it goes, but don’t force it to be romantic’, but I know so little about the situation that it’s hollow advice), but I came across this article in the NY Times that might speak to your situation. It talks about limerence, which is a new word for me. I say might, because it might not be what you’re feeling, but it’s worth a read regardless, and the tips on how to overcome it in the article seem useful (and have backing by different researchers, so they’re bound to have more material on the subject that would be potentially related to what you’re going through).

Gift link so no paywall: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/27/style/limerence-addiction-love-crush.html?unlocked_article_code=1.RU0.qcHQ.OMOM2nOkSCqy&smid=url-share

Some of us are a lot more hesitant about internet-publicly sharing work now, since it’ll likely be scraped and used for someone else’s profit.

Rational worry or not, I know I just don’t post what I’ve been working on because of that. I know I’m not some artistic genius, but I still don’t like my data being hoovered up for any purpose, be they privacy concerns or training models without my explicit consent. Same way when I show my work IRL I wouldn’t be happy if someone was dragging around a photocopier, or taking high-res photos of everything I do. Granted, I have the same concerns about even posting comments, but that’s had the upside of my posting less.

Thanks for inspiring me to take a crack at it myself! If I actually wind up starting a tank, I’ll try to remember to send you a message

Do you have a favorite site to suggest how to get started?

I’ve got some student loans…

I don’t see it as delusion, but being realistic.

What you and I do today is meaningless in the grand scale of the universe, and likely has a tiny effect on what happens to someone living a hundred years from now.

That doesn’t mean that what we do doesn’t have a more immediate impact.

Make your neighbor’s day better, because while it won’t matter in a million years, it matters now. So who cares if it costs you a few extra minutes of your life, it makes theirs better, and nothing means anything in the long run anyway, right? So why not make it easier for everyone else here, now? Making other people feel better feels good, so everyone wins, and we can better enjoy what time we have.