I think I’ve got enough goofy charm to pull off 24 Hour Cinderella… or at least, I will think that after a few drinks.

Eventually, Kars stopped thinking.

a little bit. i don’t respect magic and think the hubris of wishing for something objectively bad is funny

i wish everyone who dies goes to hell no matter what

Local fuckup reclaims a meager portion of his dignity using this one weird trick

General Ludd had some good points tho…

No, i don’t need that. It was a fun fantasy when I was younger, but unless I end up losing use of my limbs or something, cyborging it up seems like a bad move in our nonfictional world.

i only draw the line at microwaved pizza, I’d absolutely demolish that.

margherita pizza, followed by trashy pizza.

fuck, i neverthought of the gaussian blur thing, i always just traced over the edge with a soft edged brush…

the Gros Michel banana. I never had the chance to try one before they were wiped out.

edit: and the Hua Moa banana, because it looks silly

Cheap store-brand salt & vinegar somehow tastes better and is more snackable than any other kind of chip IME. It’s got that acidic zest and brittle crunch I crave

unhinged but i get it

just a straight up orange. I fucking love oranges

Ok ok ok, I’ll explain in further detail.

HipsterTenZero’s shitty mega pancake

Serves 1

Place 1 tablespoon of salted butter in the rice cooker and flip the switch.

Mix together ~3/4 cup of store-bought pancake mix (I like the cheap kind!) and ~1/3 cup of milk.

Dump the batter in on top of the liquefied butter.

Wait for the first cycle to be done by taking the dog out (important step: pet dog)

hit the switch for a second cycle.

Make coffee or something. Put on some pants if you haven’t already (optional).

Once the second cycle is done, poke the top of the 'cake with a fork to ensure it’s fully cooked through.

If done, rotate the rice cooker 180 degrees vertically to dispense the delicious mega-pancake. Otherwise hit it with a cheeky 3rd cycle.

it looks like this!

Top with whatever garbage is around.

Someone mentioned slicing it up, but I just say scarf it down as-is. Who is gonna judge, eh?

the trick is that i’m American. We’ve evolved to seek out large meals and sugar rewards in our environment kind of like ants

yep. Just drop a bit of butter in and let it melt while you put some coffee on and mix together the milk and pancake mix, drop it in for 2 cycles, and enjoy. It’s almost as easy as microwaving.

I bought a small rice cooker a while back. I have pancakes way more often now, which has really helped cut down my breakfast budget. I can snag a month of breakfast for like 5 dollars. Yeah sure, they’re extra thicc and not as nutritious as a full complex meal, but its a lot less of a hassle than actually heating up the skillet and cooking a meal while I’m half-asleep.

I pretty much only dream when I can go back to bed after waking up. Not the most common occurance, but it happens

Dogs. Like, have you seen a poodle or a chihuahua? They’re super cute little gremlins. On the other hand, you’ve got pugs… poor little dudes, they just want to breathe.