First, I would move into my own place so I don’t have to deal with the constant stress of conforming to the expectations of my bigoted family members. Then, for a while, I would probably do nothing. I’m burnt out and have a lifetime of shit to process and heal from. I need time to pick up all the parts of myself that the world has forced me to throw away.
Eventually, when I’ve gotten a little better, I’ll probably start wanting to accomplish things again. Nothing so ambitious as the dreams I used to have, but they were probably unrealistic anyway. And with my basic needs covered, I would be free to do what I find important and fulfilling instead of spending all my time making line go up for some asshole billionaire.
I’ve always wanted to write stories. I used to draw and paint, a long time ago before the depression got really bad. I’m starting to learn 3D modeling and gamedev, and it would be nice to do that just because I want to, not because I’m unable to work a regular job and am flailing for a way to pay the bills.
Maybe I would just organize get-togethers with my friends where we play tabletop games and eat food I cooked for them using produce from a little garden I made.
There’s no shortage of things to do if I’m free to pursue them.
Old media has become such a minefield because there’s just so much awful stuff that went over my head at the time. I’m scared to recommend anything that I haven’t rewatched/reread in the past few years.
It wasn’t all bad, though. One of my favorite TV shows is Babylon 5, a 90’s sci-fi that I watched as it aired but hadn’t seen again until late last year. All I really remembered were the cool space battles and devious political maneuvering, but it turned out to also be an incredibly progressive show. One of the main characters is first introduced while wearing robes that appear to have been partially made from a trans pride flag!