• 6 Posts
  • 87 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 15th, 2024

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  • I am not a huge fan of having multiple cards. Its economic suboptimization.

    People tell me they get cashback, points and all sorts of advantages.

    If you calculate the actual savings in euros, its not that impressive.

    If you spend 10 000€ a year with 1% cashback. That’s 100€. Which is more than nothing. However you can ignore the whole min/maxing with cards and just make a couple more meals from scratch, bring coffee instead of buying for a couple weeks, buy something used instead of new once or twice etc.

    The time spent getting all these points and maximizing is often comprehensive. The credit card bill has to be paid every month, if you miss it once, then the whole thing was a waste of time. So you have to be certain. Checking if everything is paid is thus important.

    Also they loyalty part is manipulative and might not actually be beneficial in many cases.

    So I stick to my ONE debit card.







  • Kudos for trying to stay in the marriage. Not because of the oath, but for yourself. I can imagine that the hurt must have been immense and that the temptation to leave and start fresh was big.

    When I was younger this was black and white for me. As I have grown older I have realized that life is not that simple. I have been fortunate enough to not experience this myself, but after a relationship for 11 years I can understand why people stay after cheating.

    It’s so easy for someone to say that it is black and white on social media. You see it all the time with all sorts of things related to relationships and human behaviour.

    Having your perspective in this is really valuable, thanks for sharing.


  • If you want out of the marriage, then this is the time. No point in working on a marriage you don’t want.

    If you want to stay then:

    Couples counselling. Seriously. It is not cheap, but it’s a lot cheaper than a divorce. It also resolves unhealthy tension and issues in the relationship. You might even get out of it with a lot better marriage than before you cheated.

    Do that for a long time. Show that you care by taking initiative, and resolve this with a counsellor and your spouse.

    I also believe it is possible to regain trust, and to forgive.

    You did a bad thing, but don’t let it define you. Now you got to set it right, show her that you actually care about her. Do the hard work and make the relationship stronger than ever.

    You should not tell anyone you cheated, if your wife does, then you have to accept that. She might feel that this affects her honor and standing amongst other people. So let her decide if people should know or not.

    Anyways, good luck! Be patient and be kind. You can do it! 👍


  • Logically I am a determinist and a nihilist. It’s the only thing that makes sense to me.

    But I can’t live life like that. Life is lived through feelings and it feels like I have free will. So I feel meaning by contributing positively and that my choices in life matter.

    So, I contribute, try to do good, be helpful and nice to people, and also fulfill some hedonistic desires such as good food, lovemaking, shows, etc.