NoneOfUrBusiness

Why did they even do that?

So this turned into a bit of a rant and while it’s likely nobody cares I’ll post it anyway.

I don’t know about Christianity but at least in Islam this isn’t how it works. So there’s a hadith that says that death is the worst of what comes before it and the easiest of what comes after it, because the day of judgement is just that bad. There’s another that says that in the day of judgement it will be so hard that people will want Allah to start it even if they go to hell. No matter how much you think you’ve been a good person it’s not at all something to look forward to. And that’s not counting how even as a Muslim depending on what you did in your life, you could go to hell, spend a certain time there according to your sins in life and then go to heaven. Again not something most people want to find out, especially because Islam teaches that with the exception of prophets everyone sins and that we all need Allah’s forgiveness and mercy to go to heaven. The kind of arrogance it’d take to actually hope for death because you’re confident you’re going to heaven can in fact be the reason you go to hell. A devout Muslim will never think “oh I’ve been really good in life I can’t wait to die and go to heaven”.

Then we get into how in the day of judgement people will have mountains of good deeds and mountains of bad deeds and people’s (temporary; again all Muslims will eventually go to heaven) fate will be decided over a single good or bad deed. Most people thinking seriously about the afterlife will want to live as long as possible to do good deeds and beg god for forgiveness for their bad deeds. Again, no sane Muslim will think “yep, I’m doing alright, death please”.

My Egyptian ass be like: My time has come. Let’s see…

Turn the pot on its mouth, the girl turns out like her mother (no idea why it’s like this, literally no purpose other than that it rhymes). Used when a girl is like her mother, basically what it says on the cover. The guy version is “This cub from that lion”, which can’t be used for girls because lioness is an insult for some reason (kinda like bitch but stronger).

The winds come with what ships don’t want: Not everything happens as we want it to.

Going around and spinning: To try to trick someone or dodge a subject by making the conversation go in circles and not touch an important point. Speaking of spinning,

To spin around oneself: To be in trouble and really busy/not know what to do.

To pretend to be from Banha (a place in Egypt): To pretend you have nothing to do with what’s going on.

A black (sometimes blue or white) day or night: An unpleasant time/experience. Used as both a statement and a threat (like “your day will be black today” after your parents catch you doing something you’re not supposed to).

Have them for lunch before they have you for dinner: Attack before you’re attacked.

The monkey would’ve benefited himself: When you ask someone for something they would’ve done for themselves if they could.

Kahka with sugar: Zero (on exams). Kahk is an Egyptian biscuit-like sweet eaten on Eid, and it’s circular like a zero.

A pot with a hole is emptied on the one that lifts it: If you do something dumb you suffer the consequences.

Edit:

To get spanked: To fail.

To slam (your ass): To make up something (probably incorrect) in the moment. Comes from the idea of slamming your ass onto an exam paper and leaving whatever comes up as the answer.

but the ligament went to hell and my ankle is now only held together with chewing gum and hope.

I strive to be this eloquent one day.

“The ancient Greeks” those didn’t exactly have very good democracies.

Oh I see. I thought you were listing examples of claims that were falsified, like reasons one would dismiss these religions as false.

(It’s also worth mentioning that the Qur’an itself actually contains only the slightest and briefest mention of the Night Journey; the story is greatly expanded upon in the hadiths, which he himself did not directly write but are rather traditionally attributed to him).

That’s true, but Sahih Hadith can basically be taken with the same degree of trust as the Quran (aka “this is the capital T Truth” if you’re a Muslim, “Muhammed said/did this” if you’re not) so the distinction doesn’t really exist.

A random Jewish preacher coming back to life, for instance, or a random Arab religious reformer casually taking a midnight flight to Jerusalem.

I mean, these claims are only falsifiable if you assume the religions are false. It’s circular reasoning. For example going “God doesn’t exist so there’s no way Muhammed could’ve went to Jerusalem” doesn’t do much to disprove that God exists. Taking this particular event as an example, you’d need to, independently from the existence of God, find evidence that Muhammed didn’t go to Jerusalem. Especially since Islam provides evidence for its claim that he did go there.

Science doesn’t concern itself with the existence of God so I’m not sure what knowledge you’re referring to.

I mean yeah that’s why it’s called dark matter. Because we know nothing about it except that it has gravity and doesn’t interact much (if at all) with electromagnetic waves.

Muslim here. If you’re worried, something kosher will do as long as it doesn’t contain alcohol (kosher food without alcohol is automatically halal).