Vegan Madras curry with rice (also, it’s 6am, I fell asleep at some point yesterday evening and only woke up again a couple of hours ago, chronic fatigue is a bitch).

Hierarchy creates inequality, it’s just how it works.

Always and every single time, it doesn’t matter how nicely you dress it up or try to convince yourself that if it was you (or your personal “leader” of choice) it would somehow be different. Inequality is literally built in to the structure.

E: I just had to come back and show some appreciation for “be the change you want to see in the world - follow someone else”, I know you didn’t mean it, but the irony is just too good…

We also have a tendency to allow only sociopaths and psychopaths to lead us, and we gotta nip that in the bud, but most people who aren’t like that don’t want to lead.

I wouldn’t say “allow”, but either way, you’ve hit the core issue there on both counts - leaders. Hierarchy creates inequality, it’s just how it works. It’s why any cult of personality is dangerous and bound to maintain an imbalance.

This mostly focuses on management in the workplace, but applies just as much to leadership rolls in general: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/colin-jenkins-deconstructing-hierarchies-on-the-paradox-of-contrived-leadership-and-arbitrary-p

Ooh, yeah, that’s a nice phone…

My uncle had the Nokia 9110, it was incredible for its time, and definitely contributed to me wanting a phone with a full keyboard haha

Those were such exciting phones, coming from a Nokia.

Nokia made them too! I had the N97 for a good while… Also still have it in a drawer somewhere lol

Visitors cannot enter the artwork,

booo

(source:https://canalrivertrust.org.uk/things-to-do/arts-and-culture-on-the-waterways/the-looping-boat)

Still interesting, and nice photo! But being able to go inside would have been so cool…

For me it won’t stop it, but pushing my tongue up and forward against my pallet and clenching my jaw will help contain the sneeze (and often also give the sinuses a good clear).

Yeah, I’ve seen One Hour Photo a few times (also Insomnia and The Final Cut), it’s how I know he did creepy so well and probably why I know to avoid that episode lol

Idk if it’s hindsight bias or what, but I feel like if some guy called my place of work claiming to be a cop and told me to rape my 14-18 year old coworker I would suspect something is up

I do too, but then you look at society, and the individual and mass abuses and atrocities that have been and still are committed (or even just not objected to) under the influence of one or a small group of manipulative exploiters (some with little other power, but some who control the very systems that govern our lives), and you realise that if nothing else, you have to be constantly aware and vigilant to their manipulations, and even then, no one is immune.

I think the worst thing about it is that it works every day, in so many different ways. Appeal to authority (not the fallacy, just the act of) is an enforced value in most societies, and it will drive people to do the most horrific shit. Always question authority.

Wait, what? I’ve seen the movie, but didn’t know about this. Will have to look it up.

E: ok so saw Williams plays the caller in it, think I’ll pass, I don’t need that memory of him in my brain lol but good to know it made the show either way.

Guy who is extremely good at manipulating people ends up manipulating like 6 or more … to do all the requests he has.

That reminds me of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strip_search_phone_call_scam, which is so fucked up on so many levels.

Casio G-Shock

Real nostalgia hit with that one, I’ve never really liked wearing a watch, and haven’t really before or since, but for a few years in my teens, I was a huge Baby G fan, I had to beg my parents to get me one for my birthday lol

Np, it was a good quote to mention.

Yup, I saw their one reply, which is why I edited mine lol

The quote in question, since OP could definitely do with reading it (not to mention the entire letter it comes from):

I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

TL;DR because I get the feeling that investing any more energy here is a waste of time:

and

(E: one of the main things OP seems to be missing is that capitalism is just as much a system of oppression as racism, sexism, and the rest are)

Ok, I’ve had a proper read through now, I’ll admit there is a lot to process, but this a lot of sense (and some bits I was already doing without even realising, like trying to get space away from triggers).

I think my situation is tricky because the main person triggering me is my nibling, whose family I live with (I’ve been here since they were born and I’m often left to care for them during the day. Cuddling and playing and just spending hours on the couch watching cartoons with them used to be my escape, but for the past couple of months external stress has gotten worse, and after they “pushed me” on a really bad day and that brain switch has flipped, every time they want to be around me I feel like they’re “pushing me” and fight/flight which is the constant state of my autistic brain anyway, ramps up even more), so I can’t get away from them for any decent length of time, and they’re just a kid and it’s difficult to explain my growing boundaries (every time one gets crossed, by “hostile” or “friendly”, rationally I can tell the difference but irrationally they both have the same impact - a stricter boundary can’t help but pop up in its place, in self defence) and why I need them to stay away from me (or, if they keep “pushing”, why I’m suddenly horrible to them even though they don’t deserve it).

I don’t want to push them away, I rationally know they mean no harm and just want to give and be given love, but I also just need my boundaries respected.

The one thing I have avoided doing is reminiscing about good times because it makes me too upset that I’ve gone from that to this and I spiral in to a really dark place, but I do see how it might help, so I’m going to try my best to try it. I think some of the other advice is a little tricky for someone with sensory processing difficulties though).

Anyway, I won’t ramble any longer, thank you again, I’ve not actually talked about this to anyone else, and I feel like this exchange is a good first step to at least try and fix things.

I do wish I could find a descent therapist though… -_-

Wow, I wasn’t really expecting a reply, never mind something this through!

It’s past 2am here, so my brain can’t take it all in right now, so I’ll give it a proper read tomorrow when I can better process it and reply accordingly, but I just wanted to say I really appreciate your effort, thank you!