I use “honestly” or “to be honest” myself sometimes.

It’s a simple way to convey “I’m going to give you a risky or unpopular opinion. Can be unpopular with you personally, or for public in general. But either way I value the honesty of sharing that opinion over the unpopularity it will cause”

I can see why you would hate it. it wouldn’t be unusual for people to share bigoted/sexist/violent opinions on subjects they should keep to themselves.

I’m sorry to hear about your son, and I apologise if my comment brought up some difficult memories.

For me, it was my best friends funeral and his family had an insufferablely god-fearing priest speaking for part of it who knew him from his childhood. He was telling stories were “he found God”, “god has now welcomed him” and “he now knows God’s love”. I don’t recall exactly what he said word for word, I just remember quietly seething throughout his whole speech and also afterwards my other best friends were venting that the whole thing was disrespectful to his memory.

My friend wasn’t religious in the slightest. it felt like a complete stranger trying to convince a room of grieving people comforting lies that he is “in a better place”, when it was clear he didn’t know him at all.

“God loves you” is fine for me. they are usually simply wishing us happiness in their own way (sure it can be passive-aggressively throw to people they call “sinners” too).

What I really despise is “god has a plan” as words of comfort.

A plan for fucking what? Noahs ark V2? cleverly getting around the “promise not to flood the earth” clause by having greedy assholes pollute the earth in his stead ?

“Ah little 4 year old Andrew would fuck up my plans, better give him cancer… Hm, let’s hit Jane with a truck just incase”

I don’t appreciate that you somehow think a magic man in the sky planning something so cruel would be of any comfort to me.

“I heard the bassist of the famous band Dogstar is actually also a lesser known actor that starred in a few movies”