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Even with her guard up, Shadowheart’s character is still more varied. Her reactions are more mixed and you can really see her bluntness and pragmatism come through. Her responses vary from indifference, apathy, rudeness, hostility, and moments of care and tenderness. Astarion in Act 1 is just an asshole all the time. I also feel that some of his reactions clash with his character and don’t make sense. Don’t get me wrong; I think he’s a good character but I can also see why so many want nothing to do with him.
None. It is never acceptable imho.
We do not choose where we are born or the social class we are born into. Forcing someone to sacrifice their life in the name of an entity they did not choose, likely have no/limited loyalty for, or might even be actively oppressed by - is wrong.