My now wife hid them from me for about 3 or 4 months. She’s more flatulent than me. Always to think about how hush hush it has to be before everything comes out. I farted in front of her within days of our first kiss.

To an extent this is my marriage. My wife and I both own our own companies. Mine is much more established and therefore offers me some leeway on my in office time (I’m an accountant). This means I often spend more time taking care of our children. I also cook, make grocery store trips, clean (to an extent), etc. She still helps around the house which isn’t ad much as it used to be. But I see her working her ass off so I don’t complain.

As for protecting me…no. I’m a pretty large dude. 6’3" 250. So unfortunately when things go bump in the night ya boi gets to go investigate.

Girl’s, how long have you been holding that fart?

Earnest Petunia Whirl if a boy. Earnest/Ernie for short.

Carolina Dorothy Mantooth: Whiskers or Dorothy for short.

You could also to with the following:

Kittem A. Cat Dr. Birdcatcher Sir Fluffington K Snuggleworth Esquire IV Ragga-Muffin ragga or muffin work for short names. Gary Lasereyes Shit rock Steve French Bubbles Mim-mim