ivanafterall

He has such a puppyish face.

I sincerely wish all of my messages were delivered to me by an owl holding a scroll.

Be careful with girls who try to go all the way to kissing in the first few months.

This is a really good tip. I admit I never really experimented beyond .doc/.docx due purely to muscle memory. It makes sense that would cause issues.

This makes me want to try LibreOffice again. Is it really close-enough to on-par? I tried OpenOffice and LibreOffice a few times through the years and always found weird hiccups, like filetype issues, files looking different between programs, weird UI choices, etc… I would love to have a legitimate replacement option.

“Hang in there! You’re going to really nail your next undertaking.”

There are fancier options, but it’s hard to top a good homemade bacon, egg, and cheese, with crispy bacon and buttery toast.

I had a dickicht and Greek yogurt cleared it right up.

Either Jack Black or Daniel Day-Lewis, depending on who directs/who’s casting.

Edit: I’m not saying I look like Daniel Day-Lewis, I’m saying I like to think my life would require an actor of his caliber and complexity. Probably Rob Schneider would suffice, in reality.

I never get a chance to boast about it, but I can also proudly say that my farts are totally trustworthy, thus far through my life. You all need to hang out with a better class of farts, if you can’t trust yours.

Ruffles Flavor Rush Big BBQ and Cheddar potato chips.

Lol, nah, nothing like that. Funny, though. But seriously, what’s your mom’s maiden name, just between us friends?

It’s not too many more steps to turn your rotisserie chicken into buffalo chicken dip. I do it all the time as a keto option and eat it with a fork.

My boss fucks me daily, but we’ve gratefully never had sex.

And there’s nothing peaceful about StarCraft or kpop.

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I can’t help but hold the bunch over my mouth and pluck one off from beneath.

Pouring olive oil over anything makes me feel like a bit of a rich slut.

Attaboy!

Like a goth bluejay.