I grew up in Honolulu, and every once in a while there would be a tsunami warning. I don’t know how old I was—I would guess 6 years old, give or take a couple of years—but during one tsunami warning my parents drove up a ridge and parked on the side of the road to wait it out. We had a VW Vanagon, and I remember sitting in the van playing with toys to pass the time. At some point, a girl around my age joined me in the van. Her parents had the same idea as mine, and I guess they invited her to play with me while we all waited.

I’m in my 40s now. I still think about that girl from time to time.

My thinking is along the same lines. I think OP and his wife both have good arguments for making certain dishes certain ways. And indeed, it seems (to me, in my unqualified opinion) that they need to have an ongoing conversation about which dishes each wants made which way.

OP’s wife is nostalgic for a certain boxed pancake mix because it reminds her of her deceased mother? Cool, that’s pretty low-stakes, just make the boxed shit. But part of OP’s self-care routine is cooking food from scratch, and that’s important too.

OP is right that fighting over this is silly. OP is wrong that scratch-made will always be better. Oh, I’m sure it will taste better, but in the long run it will be worse for OP’s marriage.

And crucially, they both need to be flexible. If OP takes pride in their cooking and the couple is having company over for brunch, then maybe leave the boxed pancake mix in the pantry and let OP wow the guests with their delicious and fluffy scratch-made pancakes. And of course, OP needs to remember that that flexibility is a two-way street.

I do something a bit like this. I’ll pick a theme (animals, food, places, etc) and then go through the alphabet one letter at a time and something from the theme that starts with that letter. Alternatively, I’ll pick a letter and just think of as many different words as I can that start with that letter. Those work for me most of the time!

In Rock ‘n’ Roll High School Forever, the scene where they go over to someone’s house and pretend to worship their refrigerator doesn’t further the plot or character development in any way.

The Third Man has that fantastic zither theme.

The Ren & Stimpy Show

Saved by the Bell

You Can’t Do That on Television

(But really, so many more.)

Brain Damage. Scary and way too sexual for a little kid.

This comment makes me want a pancake breakfast.

Patreon = pay-tree-on

Patron = pay-trun

We had talked briefly a few times prior to my approaching her.

So it wasn’t completely out of the blue. I feel like this part is pretty critical. You had established yourself in a positive way before making the ask. If your first-ever interaction with her had been asking her out on a date, I doubt it would have gone as well.

Ojai pixie tangerines are amazing. Sweet, juicy, easy to peel, not too much pith, and a wonderful flavor. Every year when they’re in season, I go nuts eating them.

I’d say it depends. The white flesh of dragonfruit with yellow skin is my favorite. But the white flesh of dragonfruit with red/pink skin? Meh.

You can, but many people prefer not to.

Really cheap, off-brand chocolate

Who in 2024 is still buying Palmer’s? How does this brand still exist?

Brain Damage. I definitely should not have seen that movie at whatever age I was.

I host a podcast called Almost Plausible where a couple of friends join me to create movie plots based on ordinary objects. For example, some of our episodes are paper bag, axe, and toilet brush.

You can find it wherever you listen to podcasts, or on the Almost Plausible website.

A friend’s dad feels so strongly about this that he has cafeteria style trays so each food item can have its own little area walled off from everything else.

I sometimes use bacon fat to make stove top popcorn. It’s so tasty!

Whenever I’m talking with someone about my podcast and they ask, “can I find it on Spotify?” a little part of me dies.

Like, yes it’s available on Spotify, because it’s available everywhere. But I strongly dislike what Spotify tried to do to podcasting, and there are much better apps out there.

It would be especially interesting to see how his viewpoint changes over the course that time frame.