Please tell me that you are mistaken.

Let me tell you a tale about downloading erotic jpeg files over 28k modems and stitching them back together, in which the image file was split into pieces, uuencoded and posted on Usenet.

In the 90s there was this purple dinosaur from a children’s TV show that everyone seemed to hate. I don’t know anything about him or why we were supposed to hate him. To know anything about him you would have to have watched a show for 3 year olds, so if you did that then you deserve to be annoyed by it. Right?

Atkins. The 00s low carb diet. How did people do it?

When I finally broke, I put steamed rice and French fries on a cheese pizza and rolled it up and ate it.

Mac Daddy will make ya—

After a few hours of playing Witcher 3, I realized it was Fable but more complicated. Have you ever played Fable 3?

You sound like you played too much D&D.

Well, the guitar is, after all, a peasants instrument.

I wish there was a TV tech interview from the previous decade in which a reporter asked this same question of Elizabeth Holmes.

The founder of Amazon is buying the discontinued OS made by Jean-Louis Gassée and porting it to IBM mainframe platform. He’s going to name it BezOS.

Required reading to get this joke:

• https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/BeOS
• https://www.ibm.com/z

It’s not called a “six pack” on corn, dude. They’re butter gutters.

So translating from an Earthly parallax second to a Far Far Away Galactic standard parallax second also took place. Stop feigning being so thick.

Heh. Squeezing lemon quarters is easy. Squeezing limes quarters requires a vice grip.

When I was in my mid 30s driving back from Florida after closing out my dead mom’s apartment and so forth, I picked up a hitchhiker.

He was a rich person parasite kind of. He would work as a bartender where daughters of wealthy families partied. He charmed them and became their boyfriend, and that’s how he survived. He was smart and industrious with clever business ideas so he charmed the daughter’s dads as well kind of. When he was tired of grifting them he just disappeared. I picked him up at the start of his latest disappearance.

So anyway, yeah, during a 10 drive he clued me in to how wealthy people are offered services regular folks don’t even conceive of.

2008, I Think We’re Alone Now directed by Sean Donnelly.

It’s the personal documentaries that really stay with me. Obsession, delusion, a personal hell there seems to be no escape from but bewildering to anyone on the outside as to how it’s possible to be so ensnared.

“Passage” by Samael

I’m just going to assume you have never heard Ceremony of Opposites. That’s the only explanation.

Morbid Angel Blessed Are The Sick. To me, they have never reached the peak of their second album. A was okay, too. But after B I would eagerly listen to C and D when they came out and just never felt the same enthusiasm as I did for B. I gave up and moved on even though I later went back and listened to F, G, and H, and F is interesting because it is so strange but I can’t really recall much about the other two. Never bothered with I, and that’s where my tale ends.

My dad was almost a duplicate of the ex-Marine neighbor in the movie American Beauty. So, 1) I would not be too surprised but 2) if he came out to you your life is in danger.

My mom would never have actually come out either. She would have insisted that, “Oh, don’t be crude! She and I are just good friends,” until death.

Me too! It was on network TV in the mid 70s. They censored it so she said, “Your mother sews socks in hell!” LOL! The one time I ever cowered under a blanket during a scary part.

Word on the street is that GNU’s not Unix.