Good thing you’re here to sus out the BS, otherwise we might all have been hoodwinked by OP recalling this friendly conversation at a store.
Honestly at this point you’ve spent longer trying to explain why it’s made up than OP took to write it.
Are you happy with the person that you are? I can’t imagine you’re very pleasant to spend time with.
“Well I don’t have this problem so nobody should bother trying to solve it”