Also known as snooggums on midwest.social and kbin.social.

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • The biggest thing is that if you want to hang out with people you will need to take the initiative to make it happen and not rely on being invited. If you are already doing that, keep it up! But that is frequently the second hurdle for people after not going out and being social which is the biggest barrier to meeting new people and it sounds like you are going out.

    The other thing is being a little more open with new people while avoiding an info dump. Mention a couple things and see if they respond, and make sure to express interest in things they bring up when possible. Like I simply don’t care about sports but can talk about someone else’s enjoyment of sports instead of dismissing all sports talk.

    But I can also relate to how some people feel like a chore to talk to and others come easy. But not everyone who is easy to talk to shares interests, which kinda sucks. That is why I haven’t really made new friends for years as I have four friends who are easy to talk to and we interact daily online, and honestly expanding my friend group is intimidating after the last attempt to expand based on a hobby ended up with most of them being maga idiots. It was worth the try though!





  • Neither are a requirement for life, although you generally need at least one of the two.

    Relationships are work, although the good ones only feel like work when there are conflicts and challenges. Even then, a good partner is a net benefit as two can accomplish more things than one.

    Careers are kind of a nebulous series of jobs, which may or may not be a linear progression. They do generally reault in increasing income faste than inflation over time, but not always. Someone can switch caeers at any time, or just have a series of jobs, or even find a way to make money in a way that may or may not be considered a career.

    Being in a relationship can also result in not needing to work at all if the single income of the other person is high enough.

    So you should set your priorities based on your goals and what you want to put effort into. If that is a career now, you will have that established when looking for a relationship. If you chose a relationship, it may or may not help with a career or you may not need to pursue one. Whichever one you choose may end up getting switched at any point during your life because of accidents or incompatability so the most important thing is to focus on whichever you choose and if an opportunity for the other happens to pop up don’t ignore it if you want both eventually.





  • politics are all opinion-based, so our politics being on the opposite ends if the spectrum are understandable.

    This is a view that is easy to hold when the political opinions have little to no effect on those discussing politics. Once one person’s view steps into fascism and other hate based ideologies that spread oppression and violence it isn’t politics, it is just spreading hate with a veneer of politics.



  • Soinds like Bob thought you were too direct and too fast in asking a lot of questions instead of ‘getting to know’ Alice or something along those lines by calling it one sided. That could be a valid complaint, since most people don’t want to be contacted for a list of specific questions that will have answers in their email history. They mostly want to volunteer what they are comfortable first and maybe answer follow up questions. Like I wouldn’t answer a question about ‘bosses being on everyone all the time’ or if coworkers complain all the time in an email.

    Bob could also be wrong and making a huge deal out of nothing too. I’ve worked with a few people who assume the worst from and email exchange without actually talking to the people involved. But more likely you came on way too strong too fast and if you worded it that way in the email then your approach was too strong for someone you don’t know.