WideEyedStupid

My thoughts exactly. Though maybe I could have handled it in a way that didn’t involve me calling her a racist in a crowd of people. But I’m glad at least I didn’t stay quiet about it.

I’ll start by saying my skin is really pale. Like, ginger “burn after 5 minutes in the sun”-white. Thus I don’t personally experience racism often (although of course I do notice it around me a lot, because fuck are there many racists), nor do I think it’s even comparable to how bad it is for other people. But this one time caught me so off guard, because this woman actually thought she was giving me a compliment and she had no idea how fucked up it sounded.

One of my parents is white, the other is mixed. That side of the family has roots in Suriname. When I told one of my colleagues about it, she told me “wow, then you really got lucky with your skin color!” Like wtf? And here I am, always jealous of my sibling, who can actually walk in the sun without burning up like a vampire.

I often wondered if I was making too big a deal out of it, because it pissed me off. I called her a racist and never talked to her again. Luckily I don’t work with her anymore.

Huh, you learn something every day. That’s very interesting, but it must be so weird and confusing to experience this.

I think I know what the user means. Trust me (yeah sure random internet person), you have no idea how often the most innocuous stuff gets used as an opening, a justification to keep bothering someone. Some guy asks for the time? Suddenly he also wants to know your name and do you want to have a drink? Some guy asks where x building is? Oh well, have you lived here long? I’m new here, maybe we could get together? Or it’s “does this tram go to x station?” and then, fuck, you’re stuck in a moving tram without an easy escape and the guy keeps asking why he can’t have your phone number, even though you already said no and then you lied about having a boyfriend, but still he won’t give up. Playing along with someone, being nice, trying to help them with innocuous stuff, 8 out of 10 times it doesn’t end there at all.

Before I get a bunch of downvotes: No, it’s not every guy. We know it’s not every guy. But most of us don’t want to sit through 6 creeps just on the off-chance of meeting a nice person. It’s just not worth it. And yes, it’s always guys who do this. I’ve never had a woman following me after giving her directions. I’ve never had a woman keep pushing me after I said no (and I’m sure they exist, crappy women exist, but usually I feel perfectly safe responding to women - so sue me, confirmation bias).

Edit: Just to respond to your specific situation. I think I might have given you the high five if you’d been at it for a little bit and I’d seen you do it to everyone else and not acting like a creep. The fact that it’s a bar scene and a social environment makes it all a little easier, imo. Most of my examples, real experiences btw, always happen in non-social scenes, like when going to work, or while doing groceries, etc. So in your case, I probably would have. But just to point out: it wasn’t about you personally, basically a bunch of creeps ruined it for you.

Maybe in a minority, but definitely not alone. I agree completely. Does absolutely nothing for me when someone touches my breasts, like at all. They may as well just been touching my back or my arm. Nothing erotic about it. But you know, it’s not like it’s particularly unpleasant either, so I guess, who cares? At least they like it. :p Well, as long as they’re not trying to actually pinch or bite my nipples because that’s very uncomfortable, and at certain points during my cycle it’s downright painful.

I had to look up the meaning and now I can only imagine the confusion this person must have felt, before he figured it out, lol.

I still use reddit when I’m looking for very specific information, because reddit still is an amazing database of content/info. Many of my searches kinda end up on reddit that way. But I don’t post there anymore and I block all ads. So… I’m still using it but providing nothing in return. I can live with that.

I mostly read series, and my favorite is Malazan Book of the Fallen by Steven Erikson. The Silo series by Hugh Howey a close second.

I’m not really someone who reads many standalone books, because I love getting lost in epic/long stories (for this same reason I barely ever watch movies and stick with series in stead), and I hate how by the time I’m really getting into a book, suddenly it’s over… But hmm, for a standalone book I’d have to go with The Book Thief by Zusak (which btw, never seen the movie, maybe I should sometimes).

Battlestar Galactica, Haven, Fringe, Orphan Black,

and there are a few more I don’t skip more often than I do, like DS9, Stargate: Atlantis, Rome and the Tudors.

Some series just have really nice intros!

Ditto! No tree, no lights, no presents, no big dinners or parties. Just a few days off, which my husband and I spent with our two cats.

When my husband and I started living together I actually told him that he had really bad aim and I don’t like having to sit in his piss. And that if he insisted on standing while peeing out of some weird sense of manliness, then I would choose not to clean up the mess he leaves behind all the time, so let’s see how fast it accumulates!

I especially don’t get it in your own home. There aren’t any other men around, so no need to act ‘manly’ and all it does is force you to clean it more often, which, come to think of it, probably also isn’t ‘manly’ so what? Do they just not clean their own toilets? Ew.

Anyway, dirty toilet seats are a choice. Any time you’re forced to use a toilet with piss all over it, it was someone’s choice to not care about the next person using the toilet. Many people have accepted it as normal, “it’s just what happens” - no, it is a choice. I still can’t believe my mother accepted it all those years, tbh. :p

My husband also said it has extra advantages to sit, like being able to pet our cats. So there you have it. Oh and we’ve lived in Germany for a couple of years now, and I was not at all surprised they have a special word for it. Germans have words for everything.