Hi ladies,

This will be my first entry on the arena of the fediverse ( I hope I’m right).

For those of you in long-term relationships, I’m curious to see your feedback about this topic. I’m an adult male and have been on more than 1 long-term relationship myself.

From my perspective and experience, I can only say I’m intrigued as to the main reasons a woman will avoid having sex with her partner other than being upset and/or being mistreated in the relationship. For me, open dialogue always helps understand each other.

Is it just a different way of pleasure, a fantasy a dildo can only bring without cheating on your partner?

In my case, I noticed it usually happens when we have an argument and she will rather use a toy than sex reconciliation (which, by the way, is the best sex imo).

I’m hoping this is an interesting topic for myself and others.

What ticks your belly? What and why you’d prefer a toy over your partner?

    • Jair@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      2·
      11 months ago

      Do most women care for this? I think most times they’re for their own personal satisfaction. I would also say the same go for most men. I also look forward to assure my partner is enjoying but a good turn-off for me is not seeing her total engaged in the intercourse

  • Hereforpron2@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
    41·
    11 months ago

    I’m a married guy in a very sexually fulfilling relationship, so coming at this from the opposite side, but I sorta assume the reasons are similar.

    Sometimes you just want to cum, but sex can feel like more to think about or even more work than doing it yourself. When I have sex, it’s 50% about it feeling great to me, but 50% of me is also thinking about my wife, what to do next so she cums too, etc., and all that brings a type of self awareness that can enhance the experience, but that also makes it very different than sitting down and cranking one out alone lol. So sex is definitely better, but sometimes it’s not the experience I’m looking for. Sometimes one of us will also wanna watch porn of stuff that we may not actually do ourselves, which can also be more comfortable or fun alone.

    So basically, lots of reasons. I think it’s essentially a different activity and it just makes sense to sometimes be into one and other times into the other.

    • Jair@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      1·
      11 months ago

      Also, on the contrary of this post. I want to assume you also enjoy solo sessions? Although, in my case I prefer physical sex. Or toys but while having sex with my partner.

      By the way, thanks for your feedback as it spices up this thread.

      • Hereforpron2@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
        1·
        11 months ago

        Definitely, largely what was informing this comment.

        For me, it’s like NY and Chicago style pizza. Both are amazing, both are technically the same in being pizza, but they are also so different that I’m mostly only in the mood for or the other. If I was looking for a greasy NY slice, deep dish wouldn’t scratch that itch, and vice versa. In theory they are similar but they fill totally separate niches.

    • Taohumor@lemmy.worldEnglish
      11·
      7 months ago

      I figure ideally you want the sort of lifestyle where you save your sexual energy for each other.

      • Hereforpron2@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
        1·
        7 months ago

        How much energy does it take to go at it lol? I could jerk it 5 times and my wife could still turn me on like crazy 20 minutes later. It’s not finite like a budget haha, we’ll both be just as into it as ever, I’ll just last a little longer for having helped myself lol.