As a shut in with social anxiety and very introverted I’m wondering how to find friends now that I got better. Basically starting from zero since I know nobody in my city so I’m wondering if someone has some experience with finding friends as lonely anxious introvert and just how other people find friends.
Recently…they’ve kind of just adopted me. I’m incredibly shy, but I had been going to a little local coffee shop (just to get out of the house) and always tried to be kind and engage with the people working there when they would talk with me. I had a few really emotional weeks, and one of the owners picked up on it. She handed me a note with her number, and let me know I could always talk with her. She ended up inviting me to a little Halloween pumpkin painting night with some of her friends, and I connected with them super well! Now they invite me out to little activities, food, movie nights, etc.
That’s kind of how I’ve meant most of the friends I’ve had- be kind, be interested, and be present! People get more comfortable the more they see you around, so even if you’re a little shy or awkward, someone might extend a hand and bring you into their circle.
That is awesome. I wish men got this kind of support when they are showing distress in public.
edit: I should clarify, not the ‘giving phone number’ part, just some support. In my experience men who look like they are suffering in any way are just actively avoided.
Never really thought of that, but it’s so true how men showing distress just get avoided or ignored…
Or actively ridiculed
Men are always expected to “man up” when dealing with any difficulty, especially emotional ones. Western social culture (values?) is a fucking mess