I was for stuff that is so mundane I don’t feel like typing it all. I was profiled for driving a cheap car at 2am in a nice area. I’m super white in the worst kind of privileged way, like tall, broad shoulders and can easily turn my slight southern accent on and off. I refused to let them search the car on principal alone, so they did a light search of my person. There was an issue with my license that let them do whatever to search me, but I know exactly what to say. By that I mean I know better than to say anything or interfere with a cop. They are not a judge and whatever they do is their own thing.

The cop made up that my tag light was out. I took pics the next day including all of the original DOT markings on the lamp and included a newspaper in the background with the date because that is enough for a court to accept the date in question. I then brought my business license, business cards from two businesses, and a picture of my old shop to show I am a professional auto body painter. I then testified that the vehicle was unaltered from the night before I was pulled over and that it was in full working order as it was originally designed and equipped. The judge dismissed my ticket, told the cop to approach the bench, and for me to leave the courtroom first. I did as instructed. A few minutes later the very pissed off cop came storming out of the courtroom and left immediately. I have no clue what was said or what happened, but it felt good to see it.

Cops can say anything. You must comply with anything they tell you to do, even if it is illegal. Cops are not judges. If they break the law, you must be able to testify precisely how and what they did for the whole incident. They get home field advantage so you have no room for error or questionable conduct. The trick is to know your rights and give them no room to maneuver. Never roll your window all the way down. If you are instructed to exit the vehicle, do so after rolling up the window, removing the key, and locking the door behind you. Never talk or volunteer any information whatsoever. When you’re pulled over, put both hands either on the steering wheel, or better yet, put them palm up at the window like anyone that is carrying a legal concealed weapon is supposed to do. You will be asked about a concealed weapon at which point to tell them what you do or do not have and that you are only doing your best to put them at ease for their safety. When they must start off testimony with that detail, you greatly diminished their home field advantage with a double play out of the gate.