I’m not sure how to even ask this. What I mean is that if you’re a guy who’s only attracted to other guys, then it’s obvious those are the people you’re going to be dating as well. But how could I, as a bisexual man who’s only dated women in the past, know whether my interest in men is only sexual or if it could be romantic too?
The reason I’m asking is that since I’m now single again, I’m wondering if I should try dating men just to see what that’s like and maybe learn something about myself. I feel like the two most plausible outcomes are either that I discover my romantic attraction is limited to women, or it opens my eyes to why some things have been such a struggle in my past relationships - and maybe I should’ve been dating men all along.
The thing is, I’ve never had a crush on a guy before or noticed any other signs that a relationship with one could actually work. I’ve had occasional dreams of that sort, but usually there’s been something sexual about them. I can only think of one time I felt mild butterflies around a guy I found really attractive.
I don’t know. I guess I’m just worried that if I give it a shot, I might not feel anything more than what I feel toward my male friends. In the worst case, they might develop feelings for me, and then I’d have to break their heart - and I hate the thought of that.
Disclaimer - I am not a man just a mom to some queer kids.
From your responses below, I get the feeling your idea of romantic attraction may have been formed by the relentless hetero-romantic focus of media, and don’t know what romantic love toward a man might feel like?
First, do you need it? If you had a brotherly fun friendship and hot sex with a guy but didn’t feel cuddly or whatever you associate with ‘romance’ would you find it a satisfying relationship?
I mostly wanted to say I think it would be fine to share some of your thoughts with your dates. Let them know where you are at, mentally.