… I just wanna sleep
Obviously it’s person-dependent. I find what helps me most is turning on audio to something I actually want to listen to. That gets my mind off going to sleep. And I fall asleep instead of listening to the things I want to hear. So I’ve got a bunch of audiobooks from Audible. I’ve recently cancelled that, however. I’ve got so many, and plan to use the phone app Libby in conjunction with my local library. Also, I subscribe to a bunch of podcasts.
When I lie down I just set the timer to 30m or “end of chapter”, and I rarely have to extend that.
I went to the doctor and told them I had insomnia. Got diagnosed with depression. So now I take Seroquel and sleep ok. My point is to get a doctor’s opinion to rule out a medical condition.
Sleeping is my super power - I fall asleep within two or three minutes every night. Here’s how I do it.
- No caffeine ever.
- Listen to the same white noise track every night while sleeping. Your brain will recognize that the track equals time to sleep.
- Go to bed at the same time every day, even on weekends.
- Don’t hang out in bed. The bed is only for sleeping or sex. No phone use in bed.
Not possible when you works different shifts
Howso? Like some nights you get off at 5pm and sometimes you’re working til 9?
Sometimes I work all night
That there is your problem. Circadian rhythm is a real thing.
Yup, ok, that’s like trying to sleep on extra super difficult mode. Follow all the advice you like on here, but definitely get yourself some sleep meds. A therapist can prescribe them for you, and they’re typically easier and cheaper to find/schedule than a regular doctor.
That’s unfortunate. Hopefully you can at least have a set schedule on most nights since you can’t do it every night.
To add to this. If you can’t sleep after about 15-20 minutes get out of bed and do something to relax your brain. Reading or meditating works well. Definitely no phone or TV, don’t read anything captivating. Read something boring you aren’t into. After you feel ‘sleep pressure’ go back to bed.
Over time this helps your body associate the bed with just sleeping. But it takes time and dedication. Find a routine.
Also highly recommend always going to bed and getting up at the same time, even weekends.
difficult when you only have 1 room
Like a studio apartment? Maybe it would help to have a “daytime setup” for your bed where pillows and cushions make it more like a couch, and a “nighttime setup” where it’s made up to sleep.
more like, I live with my parents, but hey, thanks for the tip! I never thought about this, I’ll try it.
When I close my eyes and see my demons, I engage them in a staring contest and fall contentedly asleep.
Look up Progressive muscle relaxation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_muscle_relaxation
There are plenty of videos on YouTube, try a few and pick one you like.
Concentrating on breathing also helps.
Do you suffer from hot sleeping? I do. I sleep best with a big pile of blankets on me. I sleep with a weighted blanket among others. But that combined with a prediliction for hot sleeping, and I have trouble waking up in the night in a sweat.
I got so desperate, I actually almost bought one of those expensive cool water circulation systems. But then I realized a low tech solution. It takes a lot of heat to melt water. The amount of energy required to melt two liters of water is of the same magnitude as the amount of body heat given off by a human over the course of a night.
Specifically, I learned that those old timey rubber water bottles for bed use? They works just as well as cold packs as hot packs. So I got a few of those and tried it. And it’s helped immensely at improving my sleep.
I have two cheap Amazon special rubber water bottles with felt covers on them. I keep them in the freezer. Each night I grab the bottles, which freeze solid through the day. I simply sleep with them under the covers, and it immensely improved my sleep. The felt covers on the bottle act as insulators to ameliorate the temperature of the bottles. You can sleep with one against you and it just feels mildly cooling. It doesn’t feel like sleeping on a block of ice.
I would say this method is about 90% as effective as one of those expensive bed water cooling systems. I researched those, and they cost $500 and up. Plus they required regular maintenance and had all sorts of problems with leaks and mold. This? This system cost me about $20 and requires no more work than taking something in and out of the freezer.
If you have problems with hot sleeping, try the stupid solution first. Buy some big rubber water bottles and freeze them, or try other cold pack solutions or similar total heat capacity.
timey rubber water bottles for bed use
So in the UK we just call these “hot water bottles”
Which I’m just now really thinking about as a term and on reflection it’s a pretty rubbish name for them
It’s doubtless an artifact of history. Rubber water bottles like that go way back. Before the days of electric blankets, space heaters, boiler heating, gas furnaces, etc, heating was often provided by wood- or coal-burning stoves. With a rubber bladder like that, you could boil some water on the stove and take it to bed with you. If all you have is a fire to keep you warm, it’s hard to use that fire to directly heat your bed. For someone sleeping in a cold bedroom in an old drafty house, a hot water bottle and a pile of blankets was how you often got through the cold winter nights. And stoneware versions of the same concept go back at least half a millennium.
But ice available in the home? Some homes in the late 19th century and earlier sometimes had ice boxes - literally just insulated boxes that you could put ice in to keep food cold. The ice had to be cut off of frozen lakes in the winter and stored in big insulated ice houses for the rest of the year. But such ice would be too expensive and precious to fill a water bottle with. Maybe someone really wealthy could afford to do that. Maybe you could do it if someone was severely ill and needed a fever cooled. But pre-WW2, even if you had access to ice, it was too precious for most people to be able to justify using it just as a sleep aid.
To make something like this practical, you really need a modern freezer. Even in the days of ice boxes, you wouldn’t be able to pull something like this off unless you were willing to use up two liters of expensive bought ice every night. That’s just not something most people could afford.
The first domestic freezers as we know them now didn’t appear until the 1940s. And it took decades for them to become ubiquitous in the homes of people in wealthy countries. It’s only in the last 50 years or so that you could just assume a random person in a developed country has access to a freezer. And there are certainly still people who don’t have such access.
So yeah, we’ve had hot water bottles for many centuries, but the concept of a cold bottle or cold pack is only something that’s been feasible for less than a single human lifetime. We were doubtlessly calling these things “hot water bottles” generations before the freezer was invented. It turns out they can also be used as ice packs, but the name was already established.
Doesn’t this leave you with wet patches in your bed though?
I think the bottles are sealed.
Water condensates on cool things and the body loses water vapor through pores.
I think the covers on the bottles should mostly prevent that though.The covers do mostly prevent it. They sometimes do get a little bit of condensation, but it’s not significant. The cover mostly takes care of it. You can get a little condensation near the sealed end of the bottle. It’s less than the amount of moisture you would generate via sweating.
It doesn’t leave wet patches. If you used the bottle without the cover, it would. But the cover makes it so that heat energy only slowly leaches into it. In other words, the surface of the covered bottle is probably around 60F/16C. And the surface is fluffy, not smooth.
Thank you. Just ordered one and I’m very excited to try this. I’ve been researching the cooling loops but they seem impractical and too expensive…
Feel free to reply to this after you give it a try. It worked for me, but I’m curious if it works for anyone else.
If I cant watch/listen to content I try to “render” a pov trip of like a rollercoaster or some sort of “on rails” vehicle going through some sort of landscape whether its a realistic cityscape, abstract and colorful shapes, a tunnel underground or though an ocean. I let my brain sorta just decide what it wants to do like if the landscape changes I dont try to go back to the previous one or try to “customize” it. Its a bit hard to explain what I mean without me sounding like im talking about my brain as a completely separate entity from myself but it really is like it has a mind of its own and im just letting it do its thing as long as the topic is “strictly” to generate a scene of going through a tube or riding a “pre determined” path. If it starts to get “bored” and even very slightly veer back into normal thoughts or something else I sorta quickly but gently nudge it into another scene or to increase the detail which is hard for maybe the first minute or two but with this method im asleep really quickly. At the start ill probably switch “scenes” a couple times a second.
It feels like im letting the brain sorta tire itself out with a method that can be described as gently guiding a boat downstream
Still awake op?
Work out. It helps reduce stress and just makes you more tired
What I usually do is think about all the time today when I wanted to be left alone. To be uninterrupted. To just get five minutes to myself.
Because now, I have it. I have all the time in the world. I can do nothing. I can let my mind wander. No one will interrupt, no one will dump bullshit on me. Countless times today I just wanted a pause button for five minutes and now I have hours to just do nothing.
Then I wake up and realize “nope, all that time is now gone”. Can’t catch a fuckin break.
Focus on your breathing, and how the air feels in the back of your throat.
Repeat a mdeditative mantra in your head.
Do the thing where you tense up your whole. Ody and then slowly release it from the fingers and toes inwards. I think this is what US marines use to get to sleep in adverse conditions.
Play an audiobook on speaker quietly under your pillow. The more boring the story, the better. They have non-story podcasts just for this too.
First your bed is for sleep and sexy times and nothing else. That way your body is conditioned to go to bed whenever you lay down. Doing other actions in your bed reduces this impulse.
Second, monitor your stimulant usage which includes tea, soda or coffee. Caffeine impacts your sleep more than many realize.
Finally stop lolking at screens an hour or so before bed.
If you want to jumpstart a sleep hygiene routine, complete physical exhaustion will help.
The bed thing is not possible since it’s the only private place I have in this house and even that my room is shared with my uncle that sleeps in other bed at the other side of the room.
Sleeping hygiene is a good point. No phone in bed.
But also try to make it cozy
Have a nice duvet cover, I like cotton. No synthetics. Change it more often.
Temperature in your bed room should be lower, open your window before going to bed.
Have good curtains. But not too dark. Whenever I have a window shutter and I close it completely, I just don’t wake up and sleep over 8-10 h.
Here are my things I do when I can’t sleep
If my feed are cold, wear socks, or cloth but don’t heat the room too much.
Try to sleep in a different room (if you can). When I am just too active I move to my sofa for a change. It really helps me.
Important question. Are you alone or is someone next to you. If your sleeping schedule or preferences don’t mix with your partners, try separate beds. Cuddling sounds cute until you cannot sleep because of a snoring person next to you. And don’t be angry when your partner prefers to be separate.
I follow all those ideas except the couch. When I can’t sleep I change the scene, I sit in my bed and start reading. Eventually I’m sleepy enough to lie down again.
If I can’t sleep again I go back to reading. This is just to not associate lying down in bed and not sleeping. Reading in another room is probably best though.
- If you’re the kind of person to keep yourself busy all day, then when you’re trying to go to sleep might be the first time all day you’ve allowed your mind to wander! You need to find some other time in the day to allow yourself to daydream. Some tips are to not read anything while in the bathroom or turn the radio off in your car if you have a commute. Maybe even schedule some time to sit and think about things if you can.
- Only use your bed for sleep and sex. Reading, eating, browsing on your phone, watching TV, or any other activity should be done elsewhere. This way you train yourself that it’s sleeptime when you’re in bed.
- This is probably something that can’t be done if you have a rotating shift, but go to sleep on a regular schedule. Go to sleep at the same time every day. Staying up late should a rare occurrence. Your body will become tired at the same time each day and it’s much easier to fall asleep when you keep a schedule.
but how do i summon wondering at my own volition when i want it to instead of descending upon us when i’m trying to focus
Cheap version: listen to the sounds of your breathing. Relax all your muscles from head to toe, then just try and isolate the sounds of air coming and going as you breathe. Focus on it long enough and hopefully you pass out.
Expensive version: https://www.moonbird.life/products/moonbird - set it for 4 seconds in, 6 seconds out and just bring it under the covers and get cozy.
Your cheap version is my top recommendation. Basically, learn to practice mindfulness and use that when you go to bed. Focus on your body sinking into the bed, feeling cozy.
This is similar to the meditation technique of anapanasati (mindfulness of the breath). I couple that with repeating in my head “rising” on inhale, “falling” on exhale and focusing on the tickling sensation on the tip of your nose with each breath. Next thing I know I’m waking up in the morning.
