I have incurable cancer (multiple myeloma), I’ll be surprised if I make it that far.
I hope you are. Fuck that shit.
How long since your diagnosis? I have a friend who made it decades using multiple transplants. I’m a cancer survivor myself. Rooting for you. Don’t be afraid to be happy or goofy still :) You already lived your whole life before cancer getting one day closer to death each day anyway!
You hang in there and see you in 5 years! It may be bleak, but there is always hope.
I feel you. My dad has his cancer diagnosis. MML is his best care scenario but we do not have the Dx on that.
Most likely fighting in a civil war against Christofascists.
Yep… we’re all headed for The Troubles at best. It’s pretty similar to 1920s Germany. The leftwing and “centrists” aren’t doing even 5% of what they need to be doing.
I was gonna say dead so it may as well be in the feels war of 2026
Probably gonna get downvoted to hell by doomers, but you said filters off.
5 years from now I hope to be in my mid 30s, financially independent and traveling the world on a shoestring budget. I’m very close as it is. I’ve both been very lucky & worked very hard to set myself up for this, and I’m hoping that once I get there, I can reclaim some of the typical 20-something experiences I missed out on while I was grinding long hours at work.
5 years from now I hope to be in my mid 30s
Good luck
I hope you can get it. That sounds fun.
FWIW, I’ve been traveling more or less full time doing the digital nomad thing since 2017… You can keep working and live like a king factoring in cost of living and tax exemptions. I promise you’ll still see plenty of the world… You don’t need to quit.
I appreciate that you mention it. I did the same at the start of my career for a year but I made the choice early on to chase the money and be done with employment sooner instead.
Hard to say if I made the right choice but at this point I’ll be out of the suffer-fest in the next 1-2 years so I might as well see it through.
The typical 20-something was also grinding long hours, either at work or at school, or just mental illness. Some of them partied, some of them had rich parents, whatever. Don’t downplay your own life because of other people man
Ideally not in Florida anymore
Realistically, probably still in Florida
At the rate we’re going either climate change and/or the GOP will have caused Florida to slide into the ocean so you got that to look forward to.
I’m originally from Jersey but I got out of Florida after living there for a good long time. Was not prepared for fire ants, yellow flies, red tide, being pursued by an alligator…
The heat, humidity, and stagnating seasons really got to me… I desperately wanted it to feel like there were 4 seasons instead of 2, and I missed changing leaves and snow.
I still have most my family down there, but I had to escape…
You never know. If we start fucking up any worse Floida might be under water by then. Always gotta look on the bright side.
This is true - thanks, makes me feel a bit more optimistic about the future.
I’ve been saying that for 15 years 😭
What keeps making you stay?
Finances until just recently. Now I’m timing a move since I just recently got a WFH job so I’m quite excited! We’re trying to travel and see where we would actually like to live. Part of it now is that we’ve developed some amazing friendships that would be incredibly hard to leave behind.
Would never be this dark or honest normally but
Alone and afraid. No friends. No family. No hope. Just existing and barely even doing that. Waking up everyday and wondering why I’m even bothering to do it. Looking for any excuse to distract myself from reality. Probably post random stuff online and look for more stuff to post. Try and entertain people so I don’t feel as worthless to society as I kind of am. Hating myself, every single shred of who I am, but not having any drive to change it. Wanting to die but being too cowardly to do anything to make it happen. Just waiting for things to finally stop and be over and to have a shred of peace. To not hear that inner voice saying how I don’t belong. To not hope for some horrific accident that not just kills me but makes me known to someone rather than forgotten.
Pretty sure about that. Mainly because it’s where I am now.
Now time for me to sleep, wake up, try not to cry, and then post memes all over again.
My dude, please get some professional help. I am religious, so if you ask me, I would point there, but seriously, you are worth it and you are at least worth the memes you post. I bet that you could grow a bunch from a place of stability, and have a pretty rad life to look forward to
Here is some other advice:
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ask chat-gpt for some exercises to help you get your brain where it should be and a timeline. Then execute. Rinse repeat
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reduce social media (including Lemmy) a good “cold turkey” break would be a cruise or something.
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obtain physically proximate friends via volunteering at a local food bank or similar nonprofit.
I’m on a waitlist for professional help. That’s not as easy to access as I’d like it to be, at least not here in the GTA. Religion I will be staying pretty clear from because honestly people using religion to hate me is one of the reasons I’m in this position in the first place. I’ve got no issue with religious folks, and plenty of religious friends, but I avoid the religion itself. Just not good memories in anyway as a gay dude with a sprinkling of autism who happens to be from a rural area.
As for the other advice:
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I don’t trust ChatGPT at all. There have been other instances of people using chatbots to try and help with mental health and it has recommended some terrifying options. One support line decided to replace their phone answering employees with a chatbot. That bot started recommending dieting to people with eating disorders. That’s just the first example that comes off my mind.
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If I could take a cruise, I would without a single hesitation. However I just had a vet bill for a cat that ended up being perfectly fine. That wiped out all of my savings and is going to mess up my budget for a couple months. Not to mention the fact that the amount of money I had saved took months and was a pitiful amount. I legitimately wouldn’t have been able to go up the CN Tower and have a dinner at the restaurant, nevermind get a cruise. Social media is also my only connection to society in general. Social media isn’t super healthy which is why I already limit myself pretty well. The only social media I’m active on is Lemmy and, to a lesser extent, Mastodon. In both I stick mostly in meme/funny communities and keep everything light. That or just focus on Star Trek. I only really drop into news communities once every day or two just to see what’s going on there, I don’t engage much.
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I don’t really want to go into it but I have a hard time trusting people physically.
Honestly it’s fine. Been like this for years. I’ve tried a bunch of different things, talked to different people, tried different environments and it’s none of those. It’s me. I’ve just sort of accepted that I’m not going to be happy. That’s fine. Not everyone gets to be.
Well, it seems like you have a good BS detector. I would still go to chatgpt and ask for “what types of psychologist approaches are there to sadness”. It will then respond with " behavioral, cognitive, etc") then I would ask what would a therapist for each approach say to a person who “is sad, and other characteristics and circumstances of yours”. Then pick the ones that you haven’t tried or you only did halvsies the first time you tried it.
Good luck!
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Oh Stamets, your post made me so sad and then I saw your username and realised who you were and I just had to comment because you are literally my most favourite person on Lemmy.
The content you post on Risa is the sole reason I’m here. I love your trek memes and the awesome community they are generating over there. Please know you are making an impact.
I mainly lurk, but I feel like I know you just from reading your interactions and you are an amazing person. Please keep being you.
I appreciate it 💙 It is indeed why I do what I do. Might as well inject some happiness into the world somehow.
Also, join into the comments more over on Risa! We’re all pretty chill and if anyone gives you shit just summon me, Picard, Xusontha, NegativeNelly, WarmSoda, USSBurritoTruck or any of the other epicly awesome people who are over there.
Thanks again. I will try to be more active on Risa, so will hopefully see you around! :)
Dead. I have cancer, and it’s not the first time.
AMA
How was dying the first time?
You were so desperate to make a shit joke that you forgot to notice the full stop. Congrats, retard.
Damn, I’m sorry to hear that!
I really don’t think I’m gonna make it that far, I don’t even know if I still want to.
I’m surprised I’ve made it this far. The only reason I have is because of my dogs. I guess I’ll just keep getting them to keep me here. As one approaches old age, I’ll get another. Assuming the loss of the old one doesn’t do it.
Yeah, lost my little four legged soul mate last year. I wish I’d just done it the night I let her go.
I am so sorry. I’ve got two right now. One will be 15 in December and the other just turned three. The overlap is on purpose. In hopes that I’ll be too attached to the puppy to do it when I let my old boy go. I do want to heal from the trauma, but most times, it doesn’t seem possible.
Owning a house
You can do it!
The plan is to try and buy in the next year or two!
Good luck!!
I recently made it to my near-ideal situation in life. After 20 years in the US military, I retired last summer. I was grandfathered into the old pension program, so I get a paycheck in my bank account every month for the rest of my life, equal to a little under half my income while I was serving. Plus, I qualified for 100% disability through the VA. Which isn’t exactly ideal being disabled, but it comes with its own sizeable monthly paycheck that’s greater than my pension. So I’m actually making slightly more money in retirement than I was while I was serving. Plus, I get free medical and dental for life.
My wife, who also served, earned herself a 100% disability rating as well, so she has the same benefits. She did not retire, though, instead being medically separated from the military for physical health concerns.
On top of that, we moved back into my childhood home, where we’re taking care of my elderly father. He’s letting us live here rent-free. When he inevitably passes away one day, I’ll inherit his home, so I don’t need to worry about buying a house in this awful economy anytime soon.
At 39 years old, I’m (relatively) young, mostly healthy, save some mental and physical scars from military life, and active enough to truly enjoy retirement.
I worked in the IT field while serving in the military, and I know I could easily double or triple my income if I went back into an IT job, but I think I’m enjoying retired life too much. It would be nice to have the extra income, but I’d also be beholden to a job, giving up my youth to spend most of my waking hours working. I’d rather take my lesser income and have the freedom to plan my days than have more money but less time to enjoy it. Besides, my needs are more than met with my current passive income, so I don’t really need to work.
5 years from now, I hope to have at least started writing a memoir of some sort. I traveled the whole world in my 20 years served and I’ve always wanted to share my life experiences in webcomic form, but I’ll need to practice my art and develop a personal drawing style before I get there. I haven’t truly been invested in art since I was a child, so I need to re-learn the skills I once had. Plus, writing about my experiences might help my lingering PTSD in the long run.
I also have the freedom to partake in many hobbies now, so I’ll probably pick at a handful of them to experiment with over the coming years. I’ve always loved woodworking, ever since my Cub Scout/Boy Scout days of my youth, so I might try my hand at that. I’m living on 6 acres of land in the countryside, so I have space to invest in some big projects, without worrying about bothering the neighbors.
I definitely want to get some solar panels set up in the field behind my house and see about getting our electrical needs off the grid. Ideally, my wife and I want the ability to live completely off the grid, with enough supplies to survive at least a few months without having to leave the house. Considering we’re kind of remote out in the countryside, and we tend to have pretty heavy winters here, it’s always good to prepare to be snowed in for a while.
On that note, I’ve always wanted to try gardening. I have plenty of space, so I might try my hand at it one of these summers. If I can grow our own fresh fruits and vegetables, we can be that much closer to complete self-reliance.
I also, sadly, suspect I may have ownership of my current home within the next 5 years. My dad has Parkinson’s and is quickly declining. And it’s a degenerative disease, so once you lose motor ability, you never regain it again. He went from walking 2-4 miles a day last year to struggling just to walk 10 feet without getting dizzy and needing to rest. Plus he’s struggling just to talk now. My family watched as a friend in his 50s, diagnosed with Parkinson’s, refused to do any exercise. And within 6 months, they were dead. My dad is nearing 80 and is reaching a point where he can’t exercise much anymore, so it’s anyone’s guess how quickly his disease will consume him. Hopefully he’ll still be with us in 5 years, but that depends on how much effort he’s willing to put into staying active.
Long story short, I’m not really sure where I’ll be in 5 years because I’ve finally hit a very stable, near-unchanging situation in my life. I can literally coast through the rest of my life without changing a thing now. But that would be boring, so I’m gonna dabble in hobbies and interests and projects and hopefully ignite some new passions that I didn’t know I had before. Who knows where I’ll end up in 5 years?
That’s so nice that you’re in a spot where you can enjoy life, I wish you the best of times ahead.
And good luck with your dad, I hope he holds on and whatever happens will be peaceful.I ain’t reading that biography
Thank you for your contribution
With luck I’ll have finally found a job that doesn’t end with a mental breakdown. Happened twice now. IT probably isn’t for me. No idea what to do now. Scared as hell.
What do you do in IT? I’m in IT and it is definitely making me question my choices.
Network Engineer was my last job, before that I was a Dispatch Technician. Neither had time to accommodate my mental health. If you’re neurotypical you shouldn’t have as much trouble as I did at least. Never let your certifications expire.
Ideally, all of society has been destroyed by a meteorite, myself included. But also there’s an afterlife for my cats (and all other pets/animals) where they have all the treats and pets they could ever ask for.
I try not to think about it. Things are worse for me today than they were 5 years ago and society isn’t becoming any easier. If anyone asks, it’s probably because it’s an interview question so my bullshit answer is “I’ll either have your job or perhaps your bosses job”.
Hopefully dead.
Celebrating the fifth anniversary of this post.
Is there a remind me feature on Lemmy? Haha
Sorry, but I’m pretty boring when it comes down to it.
For my offline self it’s going to be pretty much the same, hopefully with some small improvements here and there. My job is, what my partner calls, an “iron rice bowl”. It’s solid, pays well and a lot of the people working have been doing so for the past 20+ years. Also the work is interesting so I don’t think I’ll be giving this up any time soon, and most likely will stay where I am.
My kids will be older, I’ll have a teenager in house who hopefully will have developed in the sweet and responsible boy I know he is deep down. And my daughter will hopefully haven’t driven me to madness, but that might be wishful thinking :)For me here, Thelsim, I hope to have made some friends and to have left a positive impact on others. Maybe sort out some of the feelings about who I am and what I want out of this arrangement I’ve made for myself.
I guess I’m not very demanding of life.
